A few things have happened lately that have made me start to think about the way I am handling Cancer.
I often find myself knee deep in social media, looking at Cancer patients, survival stories, and end up thinking to myself, how do they do it? I completely get social media can be hugely dramatised and a photo can be misleading, but I find myself thinking fake photo or not, how on earth do these people carry on smashing life so fiercely when going through something so horrible! It was hard enough to understand life without going through cancer.
I was babysitting a few weeks ago. When the mum came home we were chatting like usual, next minute I have a glass of wine in one hand, chocolate brownie in the other, and were in the most in-depth chat about Cancer and my ideas to help support people impacted.
she turned to me and said. " Rosie, if ***** ( daughters name I won't mentioned) turns out half the woman you are, I will be so proud. I honestly had to turn my head to try and not cry! She said my passion and drive to help other is amazing and my parents must be proud? I want nothing more than to make my parents proud, so hearing this from another mum literally blew me away! It made me think leaving school and not knowing what I wanted to do was ok. Funnily enough being shoved into this hellish disease has made me understand what I want and need from life.
Which is why I think you know what Cancer sucks, 100% but .. Own it! Random strangers will look at people going through Cancer in one way or another and think to themselves, they are smashing life! But we all are, and we need to believe we are!
I have been asked about dads chemo before, what its like watching him and the effects it has one him. At first I never know how to answer. I think to myself should I say the good bits, the bad, or what? In the end I say the truth, and to be honest I always say the dreaded ' you'll be fine.' I know we shouldn't say it will be ok, or you'll be fine, but truthfully if people see me as being strong then any person suffering is mind blowingly strong. We have to allow ourselves to show our emotions, but also know that it will be ok.
Thats exactly my point we are all ok in the end. We should see cancer as something to be proud of, because if we are putting up a serious fight with it, what on earth were we like before it effected us!
But still...people actually came to me for advice, someone told me they were proud. It was the nicest feeling in a way, that people see me being strong. I would of never considered myself like that, but I guess sometimes we have to have some self love, and realise we're doing a good and it's ok to say, you know what i'm doing all I can and its enough !!
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